6 Tips for Dealing with Family During the Holidays

Juanita Ecker


“It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”… I know this is the ultimate expectation however, celebrating the holidays with the family doesn’t always end on a high note. I think we all have stories of experiencing high-tension situations during the holidays. Whether it be differing political values (especially here and now in 2020), family history, personality differences, you name it — it can be hard to gather as a group. While the Holidays may take place over computer screens, I understand that family dynamics may still remain the same. Here are six tips to help you deal with family conflict this holiday season.

1. Intentionally change your attitude

Before you drive over to the house or log into your family Zoom call, prepare yourself. Before you meet as a group, take a minute to gather yourself. Make sure you head into a situation calmly, with a positive attitude. Other people feed off of the energy you provide. Make it your main focus to provide positive and calm energy. Be a leader!

2. Get Into the Full Spirit of the Season

Practice the very essence of what we are celebrating. Be thankful for the family and friends around you. Don’t focus on what you don’t have. Focus on the fantastic things you do have in your life. Understand the importance of family and forgiveness. 

3. Minimize Alcohol Consumption 

Trouble is easier to find when we’ve had one too many. Our inhibitions are lowered and our self-control goes out the window. The holidays are a perfect time to practice self-control with food & beverages. Know your limit before you drink your first sip. 

4. Set Boundaries

It is okay to say “no”. Plan ahead and set boundaries for yourself. Know what you are comfortable talking about and what you’re not comfortable talking about, family members can be curious and it is easy to get annoyed with their questions. It’s up to you to politely set the tone and steer the conversation in a new healthier direction. Be prepared to set those boundaries.

5. Don’t Discuss Politics

With all of the drama around this year’s election, don’t discuss why you support your candidate and decide not to criticize why the other candidate is totally wrong for our country. When you are with family members you know have a different viewpoint than yours, it is best to avoid the tense conservations and political debates over the dinner table. 

6. Schedule an Appointment with an  Emotion Code Practitioner

If you know there will be strained family dynamics or you still can’t seem to shake the tension you feel, speak with a professional about how you can eliminate the unhealthy emotions towards family members. Take care of the unresolved negative emotions that are triggering you before gathering with family and friends this Holiday season. After an Emotion Code session, you can head into a family gathering without stress, fear, or anxiousness. Who doesn’t want that?


If you would like to schedule a free 20-minute strategy session today, contact me at Juanita@theshiftingssand.com. As you take these six tips into consideration, I can hope this will actually be the “most wonderful time of the year” for you and your loved ones!